Doing It All
(Preface: Lucy looks like an '80's rock star because she likes to put gel in her hair as I am putting gel in mine.)
This is another post about motherhood, I know, kind of uninteresting and common around here. But it's been on my mind lately the everyday balancing act of providing for needs/wants of self, children and husband. The dilemmas play themselves out in multiple scenarios throughout the day: Do I play Legos with Finn or load the dishwasher? Do I read stories to Lucy or start dinner so it's ready at the ever-set-in-stone-hour of 5 o'clock? Do I watch another episode of Ugly Betty season 1 or go to bed so I can get Finn to preschool on time in the morning? On and on and on. I feel like I'm always juggling various people's schedules, feeding patterns, sleeping patterns, and emotional tendencies. I am, in essence, a one man show, but how do I know which instrument to play at any given time? There's too many to choose and too many people in the audience to play for. So, lately, I've kind of thrown in the towel in many areas. "Dishes in the sink can wait until tomorrow." "The clean clothes can sit in the basket folded one more day." "The bathroom wall can get painted tomorrow." I don't seem to believe any one thing can get done without interruption, so I don't even try to do any of it. And when the magical hour of 7 PM rolls around every night (when the kids are supposed to be in bed), I am too tired to do anything I've waited all day to do without the interruptions. So there you have it. That's my dilemma. I suppose it won't get easier. That's what Travis tells me. I suppose I should just enjoy the little things that make me happy and forget about the rest. Things like fresh cut cantaloupe in the afternoon, or reading stories with Finn in the playhouse out back. Or how it's warm enough now to wear skirts and flip flops without even a jacket!
I loved this from an article my Mom sent me today:
"Brigham Young...said: 'Mormon women can do it all, but they need to do it in sequence.' For every woman, that sequence may be different. I have to tell myself that there will be years for reading books and writing novels and getting that advanced degree- years when I will wait for little voices calling my name, and they will not be there. There will be a time when I will go to tuck small children in bed and find that they have grown into able men. One day, every single Lego will make it into the box and stay there."
--Tiffany Gee Lewis, Mormon Times, May 9, 2009
8 comments:
Amen, sista. (who knows how long I've been waiting to say that.)
Sarah, I really love your blog :). I appreciate what you are saying. I know its easy for me to focus on all the things that are unfinished or not done how I like it, and forget to focus on everything that's good. I guess we never really have it all at the same time, so you have to learn to appreciate what you have. Focusing on that keeps the energy positive.
The mystery remains why so many women feel this way and have more children adding more chaos? I will never know. I asked our parents why they had 7 children and i don't think they knew why--at least i don't remember a definite answer. At first I get angry about it and feel like another number. But I've come to the conclusion its one of those, "i know not save the lord commanded me" kind of situations (see scriptures). I don't know why I'm putting myself through this insanity, but it was/is the right thing to do for everyone involved. Truly a selfless act. We can talk more in person about this sometime.
From where I sit, it looks like you DO do it all. I mean, that chocolate cake!! Piles and piles of overdue laundry are WAY worth even one slice of that! You are amazing. I think you recognize the right "sequence" and are making it happen. Doesn't mean it isn't frustrating as all get out. Great post.
I love the photo of Lucy. And Finn's underwear. Sarah, you are doin' the work. You're baby steppin' (in more ways than one). It will all be worth it.
PS I just made my ultimate comfort food and ate ALL of it-tapioca pudding (with soy milk).
You seem to be able to do it all and do it all so well! It's comforting to me that you too face those same seemingly little but agonizing decisions each day. It will get easier but you will miss these days so enjoy every minute now.
Christina (Lewis) Johnson
I've been so bad at blogging, lately, the end of the school year really gets me. I love this post though 'cause I struggle with it every day. I feel like a total slacker when someone comes over and the house is a mess and I've been doing stuff all day!
this little one loves to strip down to just his underwear!
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