Touch and Go
There are moments where I feel like I'm dancing the line between sanity and insanity (okay, alot of them). I have decided that rather than wait for the moments of quiet and cleanliness, I should revel in the miniscule things that seem to come when I least expect them: a minute of silence in the car where I can actually hear the broadcaster on NPR, times when Lucy and Finn are sharing and playing cooperatively, or those times when the toast lands on the floor buttered- and jammed-side up. Because today, in what has become all too typical, I found myself again toeing that line of sane and insane. We had a nice time playing and conversing with friends at the park. Then Finn came and for the first time in probably a year, showed me he had a little mishap in his underwear (the stinky kind). This was after Lucy had had a similar accident in her underwear, only hers were soaked, along with her pants. Diapers on both of them now (one borrowed, one my own). Miles licked his sandy fists and I decided he could stay sandy. At least he wasn't poopy. Then Lucy, pulling a stunt she's adopted quite readily lately, walked up to our friend's car and tried to touch it as the car was backing out. I screamed at Lucy to get away, my hands carrying something, probably Finn's poopy underwear. My heartrate soared, my voice in soprano panic mode. Everything was okay. Lucy's guardian angel was taking care of her because I wasn't close enough to get her. Fighting in the car on the way home and a coercion to get kids out of the car led to a shower for me and bedtime for Miles. Upon my feet hitting the bathmat, I hear Finn yell that Lucy has gotten into my purse. (Translation: your credit cards, insurance cards and any lotions or liquids you have in there are scattered everywhere). Somehow I managed to tread lightly and get my wallet back safely in it's place, Lucy in a new diaper (she's got some bowels, that girl), and now I'm sitting here typing, listening to Barney and friends sing and chatter in kid-ese. I used to think that passing through unpleasantries meant you were doing something wrong or that something was cosmically flawed. My thinking has since changed. I've decided that if I can just endure those times of panic or poopy diapers or sand all over my car without getting bitter and saying mean things, then I am doing the right thing. But it's so hard. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.
6 comments:
Amen!
Bless your heart . I could tell you stories of when my children were young to make you feel better but after your childrens escapades to day I will let you rest.
Hi... I just have to say I love your blog! I stumbled across it when I was googling ideas for the use of baby food jars... And then I just kept reading until most of my sat. morning was gone. Luckily the older two were outside with their dad and the baby was taking an extra long nap, otherwise spending hours on the lap top wouldn't of gone so well. Your style is very similar to mine. I love your house! We are also renting, but I love doing things around the house. You have inspired me to learn how to sew. I really want to make one of those growth charts you had.. so cute!! And some roman shades for the windows! And a Christmas tree skirt. (I could keep going) I called my mom on sat (who lives in the same town as I do) and told her I wanted sewing lessons from her for Christmas. One of my favorite stores is also Anthropologie, and I know if I knew how to sew I could make some of the things they have, (like a shower curtain I've wanted for a couple years... but couldn't get myself to spend $100 on knowing the kids would probably get there muddy hands all over it) I absolutely love your dining room chairs and your blue rug in the living room! Where did you find these? I looked for your email on your blog site.. but didn't see one. I'm new to the whole blog thing and wasn't sure if this is how I should write you :) I have also started to set up a blog site of my own, seems like fun, but I'm already stuck on thinking of a name for it. HA!
So thanks for all your blogs! It's been fun reading them... and you are not alone in the world of insanity vs. sanity! :)
I'm sorry it was such a hard day. I hate those times when I try to do something fun with the kids and things just go crazy. I hope tomorrow is better.
You listen to NPR?
It seems like those kinds of days get more and more frequent as kids get older. I use to have a goal to make it through the day without raising my voice. I've decided its impossible :)
Walking the line right there with you some days. My favorite saying when I think of motherhood is "Not for sissies!" You're definitely no sissy, and yes you are doing something right.
While they're all so young, definitely enjoy those rare quiet moments. I promise you, it does get easier and less hectic as they grow. Here's the insane part though...I'm starting ALL OVER AGAIN...while I am so thrilled, sometimes I wonder just what I am thinking ;)
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